As a reforming toxic partner, let me share some unsolicited advice with you all
1. When your partner calls you out on your bullshit - own it and apologise. Apologise genuinely and make efforts to change the bullshit.
2. Reverse psychology is for little secondary school kids
3. When your partner says you hurt them, don't be hurt by them telling you that you hurt them. Acknowledge, listen, apologise and resolve not to hurt them that way again
4. When your partner hurts you, tell them they hurt you ASAP in the most peaceful, non confrontational way
5. Silent treatment is for idiots - I used to be one. If you're too angry or upset to talk, simply say I'm too upset to talk right now, I'd like to be left alone for a while. I'll let you know when I'm calmer.
6. Learn to control your temper - Dami this one is for you.
7. Love your partner the way they want to be loved in addition to how you want to be loved
8. Listen to your partner, especially if it's their field. Eg- I defer to Odunayo on all things automobile, handyman things and human relationships. I noticed that when we don't take each other's advice, ó má ń di í Thy know.
9. Date night is important
Go to a movie - then a meal afterwards, talk about the movie, gossip about your friends, talk about your fears, the past, the future. Gossip about the people in your restaurant etc. Random kisses and hugs, bum slaps. Be spontaneous
10. Share funny stuff, intelligent stuff, sexual stuff, any interesting stuff with each other.
11. Don't try to shove your beliefs down your partner's throat. Live and let live
12. Be kind especially when they're in a place that is low. Encourage. Use your words m
13. No one is a fucking mind reader - express yourself, use your words. You're not a child. Talkkkkk
14. Practice honesty and empathy. There is a balance, trust me.
15. Accept that your partner might be smarter than you in some aspects, use their strength to your advantage and vice versa.
16. After talking a few times, allow your partner make that mistake, be there
To comfort them when it doesn't work out. I told you so can always come later.
17. Love is sacrificial
18. Be emotionally intelligent
19. Invest in your partner emotionally
20. Learn to say I'm sorry and mean it. Learn to be sorry. Don't be a douche.
21. No marriage /partnership is like yours. Take the good you see from others and implement.
22. Don't ever compare your relationship with others, you don't know what's happening with them. Water your garden.
23. Be accountable with your time, whereabouts etc
24. Control your tongue (Dami, this is for you)
25. Sometimes, all you need to be ia is a listening ear, a shoulder /pair of boobs to cry on and a hugger, not a solution provider.
26. Don't put your mouth in in laws business
Lastly, pray for your partner, your relationship